Tummy Tuck Round 1!

I had a plastic surgeon appointment today and I went in very nervous and terrified of what he would say to me. I had a million things going through my head when I walked in that office today, and I kind of felt like I was going to throw up. I was worried he would tell me I was too fat for a tummy tuck. I was terrified of being told to lose more weight. I just don't know if I could actually subject myself to any more weight loss torture at this point. I want to be done and I'm happy with the number on the scale. I just am not happy with the extra skin I have around my belly. And another big problem is that it's kind of hard to buy clothes right now. I need a size 6 everywhere but they cut into my excess skin and it looks like they don't fit. It's frustrating. I'm also getting weird infections in my belly button (which he looked at today and it's nowhere near bad enough for insurance to cover the surgery) which grosses me out. So anyways, I'm sitting in the waiting room and trying to distract myself from the fear of what might happen next and thank God they didn't make me sit there long. The nurse who called me back was very nice and explained how the appointment would work and she said the doctor would be in to see me WITH MY CLOTHES ON! I have always hated that when you go in for an appointment where you will be taking your clothes off they always have you do it right away and that's the only way the doctor sees you. It drives me nuts so they certainly get a few extra points for that. The doctor came in and asked me a million questions about how long it took me to lose the weight, how I did it, what areas I am unhappy with, how much water I drink, what foods I generally eat, how much I sleep, what I do for workouts and so on. Then he stepped out while I undressed and he came back in. He examined my entire body and told me he thinks I will be VERY happy after a tummy tuck and he didn't think I would need anything else done to be happy with my body. He was very impressed by how strong my ab muscles are and how toned I am. He agreed that my stomach area just looks very out of place on my body. He even thinks maybe I'll be happier with my boobs when everything else looks more proportionate. And if I'm not, he said a year or two after the tummy tuck I could come back in and have the breast augmentation. With what I'm paying for the tummy tuck I'm not sure I'll ever be able to afford to have both though. We'll see. I'm hoping he's right and things seem more suitable to my body after he stretches everything back where it should be.

My biggest worry now is the recovery. He said it's very similar to a c-section recovery and that scares the hell out of me. I remember that being the most painful and horrible things I've endured. I couldn't lay down, I could sit up, I couldn't even go to the bathroom without my entire abdomen hurting like someone was stabbing me. It hurt to eat, drink, walk, sleep and breathe. I still remember it vividly. It hurt like hell and it's at least 50% of the reason we didn't have any more children. J would make up the other 50%.

It's a lot to think about and while I'm still slightly nervous about the whole thing, I'm much more excited now. Hopefully by the end of the year I will have the body I wanted. I still can't quite believe I made it to this point. It really was worth it all. I finally feel like me.