A Change Is Coming

Ok I promise not every blog post will be like this, but I thought about something today while I was bleaching underneath the bathroom sinks. (Yeah don't ask.) Maybe my relationship with God has been a lot like the relationship I have with my children. I tell them over and over again what the right thing is and eventually I just shut up and let them make the mistake because they aren't listening anyways and I'm wasting my energy trying to tell them they are making a bad choice. I think God has been trying to tell me something since early last fall and I was scared to hear it so I didn't listen. I kept feeling like something was pulling me in a certain direction but it's a big change and it's scary and I was too damn scared to just trust my instincts and God's voice. So here I am, after months of being scared and nervous about taking a big step in life and I'm finally going to do it. I figure at this point I've tried everything else and that voice is still there telling me where I really need to be. It'll be fine. I know at the end of the day it will be just fine. :) And for those of you who know about these big changes, shhhh. I'm not ready for everyone to know just yet. The changes are good and I believe my family will be much happier because of them. It's all good.

Bet You Never Thought You'd See This

Those of you who know me fairly well know that I'm generally not a very religious or preachy kind of person. I don't quote Bible verses and I don't go around telling people what to believe or not believe. Lately church has kind of been hitting home for me though with everything our family has gone through for the last few months. This was the message this morning:

I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.

He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;
indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.

The LORD watches over you—
the LORD is your shade at your right hand;
the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.

The LORD will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;
the LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.

My immediate reaction was that God didn't protect me from slipping nor was he there by my side keeping me from harm, but when I thought more about it I realized that if I had been looking to God and trusting in Him more then I wouldn't have needed such protection. I was looking for help and answers in the wrong places. When I most needed to turn to God and trust that he would help guide me on the right path, I instead turned my back and made some bad choices in life. Thankfully, God (and Matt, the kids, our family and friends) is very forgiving and now when I'm looking to Him for help and asking for guidance when I'm struggling He seems to be there with an answer. I'm taking a few big leaps of faith in life right now and trusting that things will be fine. He will be my help and strength when I need it. I just need to trust in that.

Science City

Ok so I haven't completely abandoned this blog. Things have just been slightly hectic, ya know? I'm posting some pics from our Kansas City trip a few weeks ago. We took the kids to Science City at Union Station and they had a blast. We also went to the Fritz restaurant, did some swimming and did some stellar shopping. We brought home 2 very tired kiddos but they had so much fun and they're already asking about where we're going next. M is talking about Frisco and can't wait to go back. J doesn't really care where we go but he really wants to go see big dinosaurs at a museum. I think we've got that covered with our Denver trip we have planned for the summer.

Nanny, Work and Costumes

Tomorrow is my first official day as a working mama. I somehow have to manage to be up, dressed, fed and out the door at 7:30, which seems kind of early considering we usually don't wake up until about 7 around here. I'm excited though because the 3 times I was there last week were so much fun and I love the group of kiddos I have.

I also found a great nanny for my own kids that will be coming here every afternoon until Matt gets off work. They love her and I love her so it's a total win. I think the transition will be much easier on the kids since Miss A is so sweet and fun and a lot like me as far as discipline and personality.

I don't have any pictures of the kids in costumes uploaded yet but Matt and I went with some friends to a costume party Saturday night and this is one of my costumes this year. I dressed up 3 times this year. I'm sure that's a new record for me. I love not being fat at Halloween. Fat girl costumes suck. This costume certainly did not suck.

My Newest Addition

I LOVE this tattoo! It hurt like a bitch to get done (and took almost 2 hours) and I must admit it's hard to wear pants. Especially dress pants like I had to wear today. With my other tattoo I had problems with my bra strap rubbing it but pants are a much bigger problem. I'm so in love with it though. And I'm going to have my other one colored in ASAP. We picked out colors and stuff yesterday and he offered to do it then but I was all tattooed out at that point. I just couldn't sit through another one.

I have a lot of great things to post about, including some great job news and the amazing nanny I found for the kids but I'm rushing around today trying to get things done before Monday. I'll try to post an update later today on everything.

Craziness

So apparently I'm officially crazy. I took on a job teaching pre-k Monday-Friday 7:30-5:30 and I'll have class Mon-Thurs from 5:50-10:15. Yeah. Essentially that means I'll be non-existant around here Mon-Thurs and the time I am here Fri-Sun will be spent doing homework and working on lesson plans. I'm extremely stressed out about this whole process but excited too. This week I'm running around like crazy trying to get everything ready before Monday. I have someone I'm interviewing tomorrow to watch the kids in the afternoons so Matt can work, I got my flu shot and TB test, need to get the kids in for flu shots, I need to get some new shirts to wear to work and the list goes on and on. So I'm really not dead or anything. Just up to my eyes in chaos.

Yeah...Not So Much

You know that post I did about how running makes me feel great? Screw it because I now have an injured foot and back. I can barely move and it's almost torturous to sit for any amount of time. That just seems to be how things are going these days. One step forward and two steps back.

The kids both got to go to the pumpkin patch with their schools so we have a couple more pumpkins sitting on the porch. Every morning they go running downstairs to make sure nobody stole them. Isn't that sad? Two years ago someone took their pumpkins and I don't think they'll ever get over it. As soon as the pumpkins hit the porch this year they started worrying about them being taken. It just breaks my heart that they've already had some little bit of innocence taken from them by some stupid teenage brats.

J is having some serious behavioral issues again. We're going to have to really team up on him and get him back in line. A lot of it is coming from his frustrations at school and he constantly thinks he isn't good enough. I feel bad for the little guy because I know he's just having trouble venting his frustrations.

M is doing fantastic as long as you don't count the 30 minutes in the morning where she has to decide what shoes to wear and how she wants her hair done. Other than that she's been mostly pleasant lately. I think I'll keep her after all. :)